Elliott Faye Titus

**Prepare yourself...this is a long one...**

I'm sitting here holding Elliott at 6:30am after just nursing her thinking about how wonderfully blessed we are. This little girl is the most precious thing you'll ever see. I know, I'm biased, but many have already agreed. If you're not interested in the labor/birth story, go ahead and scroll down quite a ways.

My mom got into town a couple of weeks ago (3 days before Elliott's due date). We spent our time walking all around the city trying to get me to go into labor. Josh had a feeling she would be early, I thought she would come right on time. The one thing neither of us expected was for her to come super late. During my pregnancy I did a lot of research on how I wanted my labor and delivery to go. I had never been interested in natural childbirth before, but the more I studied and read, the more right it felt for us. I read 3 different books (some much better than others) but I decided that I wanted to try to have Elliott naturally. But, while wanting to do it naturally, I was never against medication.

At my Dr's appointment on Monday I was already 4 days past my due date. They checked me to see if I had progressed any. I was still at only 1cm. I asked the nurse to go ahead and strip my membranes. I figured it was worth a try since I really didn't want to be induced. My dr's office only lets you go one week past your due date (something I disagree with but couldn't do anything about at this point). I also didn't have much of a choice to go past my due date much more because my mom was here and leaving soon and Josh's family was arriving soon too. A few more days went past and still nothing. So they set my induction date. We headed to the hospital on Wednesday (the 29th) night to get admitted. Despite having to be induced, Josh and I were so excited. Meeting our little girl was so close! We got to the hospital around 7:30pm. They started me on a pill called Cytotec. We did three doses. My first dose was at 9pm. It's a small pill that they insert up near the cervix to help ripen it. I was really hoping that the Cytotec would get things started so I didn't have to have Pitocin. Well, it did. After inserting my second pill at midnight my nurse came in to check on me at 2am. When she woke me up I realized I was having contractions. They were still very manageable at this point, but very close together. I was surprised at how close they were together. Getting induced does crazy things to your body, I don't recommend it. My labor didn't progress like normal labor at all. It started hard and heavy and stayed that way to the end. Around 3:30am I woke Josh up for moral support. I wanted to hold his hand. :) I spent the next few hours working through my contractions in what ways I could. I spent some time on an exercise ball and walking around my room. Unfortunately the contractions got even closer together and harder very quick so I curled back up in my bed. I had only slept an hour and a half that night, so I was pretty tired. I went through most of my contractions curled up on my side (that was the most comfortable position for me). The contractions continued to hit me hard. They averaged 45 seconds to a minute apart. Way. Too. Close. They were also going off the screen. Way. Too. Powerful. To be honest, these few hours were completely miserable. I went from managing my contractions and breathing through them to complete desperation and basically screaming through them. I couldn't believe that women do this! It was so hard. My nurse came in sometime in the afternoon and talked to me about a drug that I could take that just takes the edge off. I was so tired (falling asleep between contractions) and in so much pain that I decided it was a good alternative to an epidural. I had the first dose and, my goodness, what a difference. Taking the edge off really helped me. I was able to breathe through the contractions and feel more relaxed. Unfortunately, your body gets used to it pretty quick and each dose lasts a shorter and shorter amount of time. Rough. My nurse didn't mention this when I started it. Josh was such a great support during the whole labor process. I was so impressed with how calm he stayed and how much he helped me stay calm. He was so sweet and kept telling me how much he knew I could do it. I appreciate his support so, so much! 

The most frustrating part through all of this was that I was still only at 5cm. I went from 1cm to 5cm sometime during the night when I was still managing contractions alright. But I spent the rest of the day at a 5. I couldn't believe it! I was in so much pain and the contractions were so close, how was I not progressing?! The drugs they gave me were wearing off and so my nurse sent the Doctor in to talk to me. Here's basically what he told me...

My cervix wasn't dialating (despite him breaking my water a few hours earlier) and the harder contractions didn't seem to be doing anything. I was completely exhausted and really needed to have a break. He was worried that I wouldn't have the energy to push her out when the time came. I was kind of upset that he was trying to convince me to have an epidural but he left and let Josh and I talk about it. I asked Josh what he thought and he really felt like it was the right thing to do. Even though it was the last thing (besides a C-section) I wanted, I knew he was right. I had been having contractions a minute apart, off the screen for 12 hours. It was my first baby and so who knew how much longer it would last. We decided an epidural was what we needed to do. It just felt right. So they called the anesthesiologist in and he put in my epidural. I am willing to admit that this really did save me. I could not have continued on the way things were going without it. Once the epidural kicked in I was able to take a nap. Glorious. That short nap was what I needed to make it through to the end. The nurse who was on call when I had my epidural also started me on Pitocin. This made the contractions even closer and harder. I could still feel the contractions come and go, but obviously nothing compared to what I was feeling before. At 5pm the nurse came back to check on me and I was still at a 5. So she decided that the right thing to do was to up the Pitocin. Ugh. So she did. Luckily, at 6pm there was a nurse switch. This new nurse was incredible. I immediately felt really good about her. She came in and introduced herself and looked over my contractions from the past...16 hours. Gross. She wasn't happy about it. She took the time to explain to me exactly what the contractions were doing and how the baby was reacting and how to read it. It was really nice. The first thing she said when she walked in was that we were going to have a birthday tonight! Phew. I liked her attitude. After looking over my contractions she said that they were way too powerful and way too close together. Because of that the baby's heart rate was staying steady when it should have been dipping with each contraction. She said my Pitocin was too high and that she wanted to lower it. By lowering it she was expecting the contractions to spread out and power down a bit. By doing this, the baby would be able to react to the contractions. Since they were so close and so powerful, Elliott didn't have time to react and do the things she needed to do to prepare for delivery. She lowered my Pitocin at 6:30pm. At 7 she came in and checked me. I had progressed to 6cm! A whole cm in half an hour! I was so excited. We were finally seeing progress.

Things continued great from then on. From 7-8 I started feeling contractions again. This time was a lot worse. They were starting to feel a lot like the ones I was feeling earlier without any medication. I didn't understand. My legs were completely numb, but I was feeling everything! They called in the anesthesiologist to check on me. Although I hadn't been checked for about 45 minutes he said that he thought I was going through transition and that I had simply broken through the epidural because the pain was so intense. As much as I hoped he was right, I couldn't believe that I would be going through transition phase. I was only at a 6.  He upped my dose a bit to help me manage the contractions a bit more and the nurse cam back to check on me at 8pm. She brought with her the Dr. who was on call and would be delivering. He introduced himself and then checked me. He said, "Well we're seeing some progress." I was honestly hoping to hear a 6.5 or a 7 then he said, "you're at a 9!" A 9! I couldn't believe it. The anesthesiologist was right. I had gone through transition and broken my epidural. I was so excited. She said she would come back and check on me at 9 unless I felt the urge to push before then. That hour from 8-9 was the longest hour ever! I never felt the urge to push so she came back at 9. Sure enough, I was at a 10! It was time for the real work to start. My mom and Alyson (who was there with us and my mom for a lot of the labor) left Josh and I to be alone for this part. The nurse did a practice push with me. Grab your legs, big breath, push for 10, breathe, push for 10, breathe, push for 10. The practice push went really well apparently. She said I did really well. I honestly couldn't tell. I remember some comment about being an olympic pusher. Ha. Then it was time for the real pushing. We did 6 sets of pushing and then the nurse called for the Doctor. I couldn't believe it was that close since the nurse said the average pushing time for a first baby is 1-3 hours and I had only been pushing for 10 minutes. The doctor came in, we did another set of pushing and then one more. After the 8th set of pushing he told me no break and had me push again right then. I pushed again and then one more time when he told me to stop. Out popped her head! I stopped pushing so he could suction out her nose and mouth. They were all telling me to look down, look down! As soon as I saw her face I started crying. I couldn't believe it was real and that she was finally here. She started crying and I pushed the rest of her out. What an incredible experience that was. They immediately put her on my chest so I could hold her and deliver the placenta. It came out almost immediately and it had already finished pulsing (something I had asked them to wait for before clamping) so they went ahead and clamped and cut the cord. After I had her on my chest for a bit they took her over and weighed and measured her. She was a whopping 8 lbs 4 oz and 19 and a half inches long. I pushed an 8 lb baby out! I was so proud of myself. Haha. After weighing and measuring they brought her back and I got to hold her and feed her. Then we brought my mom and Alyson in. Alyson was there to take pictures of her while she was fresh and brand new. I can't wait to see the pictures. After about an hour they took her down to the nursery to give her a bath and check everything out on her. They transferred me to our mother/baby room and then they brought her back to me. I could not get enough of that little girl.

We spent that night at the hospital and then did everything we could get out of there the next day. It was nice having help if we needed it, but honestly, it was more annoying than anything to have the nurses/doctors/cleaners in and out of my room all day. I couldn't get a lick of privacy. I had a pretty hard time nursing that first day. Elliott was so tired that I could not get her interested in eating at all. The nurses really didn't like this, despite her blood sugar levels being really high and nothing to worry about. Their concern over this stressed me out more than anything and made it harder to nurse. By the end of the stay I was just lying to them. I told them she was latching and I totally made up amounts of time that she ate. That's why I wanted to just get home and be able to relax and sleep in my own bed. The doctor and the pediatrician wanted us to stay another night, but since there technically wasn't any reason to, they let us go on Friday night. Thank goodness. We said our goodbyes and we headed home. I'm not going to lie though, I do miss the all-you-can-eat room service. 

[On our way to the hospital we picked up fries and Jamba Juice!]

[At the hospital on Wednesday night. Just watching some TV]

[We are so excited to meet our girl!]

 [Can't wait to get this all started!]

[There she is!]

[Getting measured and weighed]

[Ah, she's so cute]

[So, so happy! I love this girl more than words!]

[First family picture...not a great one. Haha]

[Yawn!]

[Down at the nursery, sucking her fingers]

[She also loves to suck on my fingers]

[Oh dear...someone didn't like her bath]

[Meeting her cousin Jane for the first time]

[Finally home! Such a sweet girl!]

Being home has been wonderful. Nursing is going much better, despite being super painful, and we are just over joyed to have our little girl here with us. I love being a mom. And Josh is absolutely in love with this little girl. He can't get enough of her. But honestly, look at that face. Who wouldn't love her?!